The Secrets of Parenting

How do you parent? Is your parenting style a reflection of how you were parented or is it a deliberate opposite of what your parents did?

Recently I was stunned by a co-workers strong statements regarding their parenting skills. The 40-something man was complaining about his 14 year old son's recent rebellious streak. He questioned why his son was behaving like such a demanding brat and stated "we went out of our way to pay for the best schooling so he could be amongst the elite and we gave him everything he wanted".

Hmmmm...and he wonders why his son has become so demanding and self-absorbed???

This same father also made a statement of how he would not tolerate any sort of rebellion that is the norm for teenagers. If one of his teenagers would want a piercing (for example) his reaction would be to show them the door.

In his closed mind any show of creative expression that is out of the "norm" has the consequence of being thrown out of his home and cut off financially.


The whole argument that people judge you by the way you look is an unacceptable idea for me.

I don't want my child to go through life trying to keep up appearances and trying to fit in to society's idea of what normal is.

As a parent I believe everyone should have the freedom to express themselves. If this means a teenage wants to grow their hair or pierce their nose, so be it.

Chances are that it is just a phase anyway and how does it really hurt to do any of these things?

The parent who makes strong demands on expected behaviors is uptight and suppressing their child's freedom of expression.

It is hard enough to be a kid these days. Finding yourself and your place in this world can be a struggle for some.

Is it so terrible to allow your teenager to explore all the possibilities?

In my mind it is not.

I wonder what will happen to this man's teenager as he grows. Not having the support of his parents can strain the parent/child relationship. Not being "allowed" to be who he is can force him into living a life where he fears being himself. The pressure to fit in can be overwhelming.

This man admitted that financially he is not where his child's friends' parents are but he struggles to live in their world. Is is so horrible just to be who you are?

I guess it all comes down to your definition of what success is.

To me it is not how much money you have in the bank or your social status.

True happiness is defined by who you are and what kind of life you live.

Money and social status doesn't buy character. Striving to fit in doesn't create uniqueness.

Most of all, demanding and threatening disowning your child is not the way to raise a kid.

Agree or disagree?

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