Secret and Lies and Coming Clean

Although I swore I would never watch anything on OWN being anti-Oprah and very disgusted at the loss of a channel that I used to enjoy, while channel surfing late one night I started to watch the Judd's.

The Judds are the country music mother/daughter duo who used to dominate the country music charts. I am not a fan of country music at all but I know who they are. Ashley Judd, the actress and daughter/sister of the singers recently came out with her tell-all book about growing up in their dysfunctional family.

The reality show featuring Wynona (the daughter) and Naomi (the mom) is raw. I give them credit for airing their dirty laundry. Although it is probably motivated by money (few celebrity "confessions" are not) it still is helpful to many people.

Naomi is a brave woman. No, she isn't perfect. She has made many mistakes. As a single mom she lied to her oldest daughter about who her real father was. She chose to have bad relationships with men. She wasn't always there for her daughters, especially Ashley.

Does she try to place blame for her behavior? Well, yes and no. Her mother was mentally ill and the dysfunction she grew up with caused her to continue the cycle. She does own up to her mistakes and comments that she would love to "run away" from having to deal with the backlash from the publication of Ashley's book. She reads parts of the book and is disturbed by so much she never knew. She realizes how her actions or lack of action affected her youngest daughter.

It is tough. Single parenting when you yourself are not "whole" puts you at a disadvantage. They were poor. Naomi had her issues. There were many secrets, many lies but underneath it all, there was and is love.

Naomi's love for her daughters will see them through this. They will become stronger because they are all willing to be honest and own what hurt they have caused each other. With a therapist and a life coach, they are learning how to communicate.

By sharing their family secrets and their journey with the world, they can teach us all.

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