Marriage is never easy. Those who claim to have the "perfect" marriage are either walking through life with blinders on or they haven't been married long enough to experience life.
The reasons couples run into trouble is simple. Somehow, some way, they lose each other through a lack of communication.
Sometimes a person deals with the pressures in life by withdrawing. Silence becomes the norm as the partner deals with these pressures alone instead of confiding their fears and sharing their feelings.
This is often when a spouse will seek comfort in someone or something else. From there, the relationship can really get damaged. Sometimes this damage is forever.
Life is not easy and no one promised it would be. Part of being a couple is that you promised to hold onto each other and fight through life's storms together. When a spouse forgets or is so distracted that they close up emotionally, it affects the trust and security in the relationship.
When you have been married for a long time you really get to know the other person. You can sense when they are "off" and you usually know why. Even if you don't know the details you have a sense that something is wrong.
Trust is an important part of a marriage and when you suspect that your partner is dealing with their pressures in the wrong way, you need to sit down and have a talk. Don't just assume they will work things out- the truth is that he/she could be sinking deeper into a pattern that will affect your relationship long-term.
Communication is key. You need to be able to tell your spouse what you are thinking, feeling and maybe even how your spouse can help you work through whatever it is that is keeping you up at night. (so to speak)
There are ups and downs in a marriage; just as in life. It is hard when two people are working hard daily and time is devoted to activities that they must do. You need to find the time (make the time) for your spouse for the two of you.
Life can consume your relationship if you let it.
Marriage can be great and close to perfect when you BOTH make the time for it. One person cannot carry a marriage. Marriage is a joint effort with both spouses giving 100%. When it is less than that, trouble follows.
It always does. Slack off on your relationship and the signs will soon follow.
Secrets, silence, that sense that you don't really know what is going on.
Don't let it happen to your marriage.
You can have a close-to-perfect marriage (nothing is perfect) if you remember that you are in "it" together and live that way!