Alone.

Dad always told me that whenever your life is going good you better look out because it won't last. I know that is a really f@#ked up thing to tell a kid but you know something, although I've worked to deny it, dad was right.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing myself a pity party- I'm just stating the facts as I see 'em.

My attitude of seeing the good even when my world is crumbling can only go so far. I cannot control how others in my world are going to react the shit that life throws your way.

It just makes me mad, that's all.

Mad and disappointed.

I can't control other people. A gazillion pep talks and bending over backwards to try and support someone through their perception of hopelessness sometimes isn't enough.

It takes two to have a successful relationship and one person can't keep carrying on hoping the other's dark mood will pass.

Recently I tried to comfort someone who found out that she would become a widow in a few short months. Although no one knows for sure when their time is up, certain diagnosises don't have much hope. I can only imagine her pain (and his) and when I do it makes me even more determined to live each moment fully, not worrying so much about what I see as small stuff.

Unfortunately some people just can't see beyond the moment they are in and would rather wallow in self-pity, pushing away anyone who wants to help.

I've run out of being patient and when the line is crossed there is NO going back or forward.

It's just done.