Losing count of how many weeks it is that the husband is out of work. He's losing count of how many jobs he has applied to. It's a tough go lately and although I feel blessed to have a job (albeit one that doesn't pay a living wage) I still strive for better.

I'm trying so hard to focus and visualize our lives getting better but as the weeks go by and no positive changes happen I can't help but get fearful.

I have accepted that so much is out of my control but I still believe I have the power to make change happen. Sometimes I just feel so lost.

The old ways aren't working and as I try to come up with new ideas I begin to doubt myself. Doubt is dangerous because it can bring me to a dark place of hopelessness. The husband is battling depression and he doesn't need to see me feeling down too.

I set my feelings aside and continue to push forward.

Sooner or later good things have to happen, don't they?

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