Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Alaina Giordano - Who is Really Going to Suffer?

Well it seems that Alaina Giordano's story is picking up speed. A web news page in the UK has picked up on it and the story click here does not hold back. I have chosen my words carefully when speaking about this case and avoided naming names and certainly would not show pictures. This family (the children especially) is going through enough.

In case you are not familiar with Alaina Giordano's story, after a 4 day divorce trial, a female judge ruled that Alaina's husband should have full custody of their two children, ages 5 and 11. He had left the family in Durham, North Carolina in August of 2010 and moved to Chicago, Illinois where he has been living and working

As this story spreads across the web, many people are mixed about the court's decision. Some assume that Alaina must have done something horrible and cannot believe that a judge based her decision upon Alaina's stage 4 breast cancer. Others see her husband as a cold and uncaring man. The fact is that some divorces get ugly. Parents often use their children as pawns and in this case, there are many factors involved.

People who have lived through cancer say that having their family to support them is what helped to get them through. Others ignore that Alaina's cancer is contained and feel that putting her children through watching her slowly die is too painful and the children should be spared this.

Alaina's husband did not need to take a job out of state. How could you even think about disrupting your wife's cancer treatments and uprooting your children when their mother is fighting for her life?

No one knows what went on in the home of this family but no matter what, it would be in this man's best interests to work out something for the sake of his relationship with his children. Does he really think that down the road they are going to thank him for taking them away from their mother while she was living out the last years of her life?

There is no one who can say how long Alaina will be able to live the way she is now. She is functioning well and is caring for the children on her own. Yes it is totally possible that the cancer (which is in her bones) can make her condition worsen although as of now it is contained.

I remember when it was announced that Elizabeth Edwards cancer had moved to her bones. She continued to live a full and rich life, with her children, and according to media reports, managed to stay well for quite some time. No one can predict what will happen when you have breast cancer. People beat the odds every day and some don't.

Most people would agree that John Edwards treated his wife horribly by cheating on her and fathering a child but he didn't try to take their children away from her just because she had terminal cancer. Alaina Giordano's husband makes John Edwards look like a nice guy.

I don't know Alaina's husband and maybe people would say that I shouldn't be criticizing his choices. I am sorry but these are your children and it is tough enough for them to be going through your divorce. Why not make it easier on them? Find a compromise to this situation.

Children should never be used as pawns in a divorce. These children are also dealing with two battles. They will most likely be losing their mother to breast cancer. This will be devastating enough. Now because of divorce they will lose their mother due to a judge's ruling.

Joint custody is a much healthier option for children of divorce. I hope that a resolution can be found that will make life a little easier on these children. It is sad when divorce gets ugly and breast cancer is a cruel disease that affects too many.

There are many things in this life that we cannot control but we can make choices that make what happens in life less painful. Here's to hoping that someone decides to re-think choices that have been made and do right by these children.

Update to Unjust Justice

The other day I was moved to make a post about a woman I had read about on Facebook. Unjust Justice was the title of my post.

As someone who has been a web content/freelance writer for a few years now, I like to use my writing as a tool to inform others of things I think they would find of interest. When I get angered by something I feel is wrong, I share it and I am certainly open to other points of view.

As a mom myself and a sister of someone who survived cancer, I am sensitive Alaina Giordano's plight. I didn't just jump in and believe everything I have read, I actually spoke to Alaina.

I just now read through the comments left on my previous post and yes, there always are two sides to a story. Especially when it comes to divorce and child custody, people take sides.

What is important here are the children. No matter what- children need their mother. Breast cancer or no breast cancer, Alaina is their mother. They need her. To take these children away from their mother is just cruel. A man has to hate a woman (and his children) a lot to do this.

Why does divorce and child custody have to get ugly? These children deserve better than to be pawns. They certainly have been through enough having to deal with their mom's illness. Divorce is hard on children. The prospect of being moved away from what is familiar to them is anxiety-producing. Children can suffer lifelong damage from an insensitive act like being taken away from their home and their mother.

I have spoken to Alaina. I believe that Alaina has the best interests of her children at heart. She does not want to keep her children from their father. There has to be a better solution than taking these children from her.

A local news station wants to hear Alaina's story. I hope it does some good to help this situation get resolved in a way that is best for the children. An injustice has been done. Children need their mother.

Parenting "Expert"

I have been a mom my entire adult life. For the last 10 years, I also had the pleasure of being a stepmom to 3 boys.

When my last boss abruptly closed his business that employed me, it was right before Christmas and jobs were scarce. After I cleaned my house, put out almost every Christmas decoration I owned and then got bored, I discovered writing.

As my confidence grew, I began to take on more writing challenges and on one site I became a Featured Contributor Parenting Expert . I really don't like the term "expert".

Although my wonderful children and stepsons have made sure that I have experienced just about every childhood disease, conflict and situation that a good soap opera writer could imagine, how I have handled these life challenges does not make me an expert.

Who really can say that they are an expert in parenting? Every child is unique. Life is not black and white but contains many different shades of gray.

If my advice, taken from life experiences and research, helps anyone; I am happy. If it makes you laugh along with me, that is great.

Being a parent is the hardest yet most rewarding role you will ever have. I am blessed. I know it. I am thankful and I never ever take that for granted.

My kids are great. They are not perfect ( NO KIDS ARE!)  but for the most part, they are happy. We all have our moments.

I am blessed to have them be a big part of my life. I do not get much quiet time but hey, I am okay with that.

I have the best husband who understands that he comes 6th. I love him for it. He is a smart man.

So, as I take a break from writing my "unique" content for my January parenting featured articles, I want to raise the question, what exactly IS an expert?

Even though my "children" are no longer babies (the youngest is a teen), I am still learning the ropes of parenting on a daily basis. It changes as they do.

Leave me your feedback and tell me where do you go for parenting advice?

Exercise

Writing an article about how to motivate your kids to exercise made me feel quite old! When I was a kid, I lived to be outside. Whether it was riding my bike or roller skating, I remember hating to be stuck inside.

It is a different world that our children are growing up in. Read my article on how to motivate your kids to exercise. With childhood obesity on the rise and diseases like diabetes more prevelant in children, teaching our children the importance of physical activity means they will grow to be healthier adults.

http://www.firehow.com/201001057368/how-to-motivate-your-kids-to-exercise.html


Get outside with your kids today and enjoy!!!

being divorced and holidays

The hard part of divorce comes during the holidays. In many cases, parents take turns and when it's his turn you spend the holiday missing your kids. It sucks. Plain and simple. If you have an arrangement where you split the day, it gets tiring trying to make the most of your time with your child. Between wanting to visit relatives and the holiday festivities, it can be stressful.

For all you divorced parents, below is a link to my newest article on how to find success as a parent after divorce. It isn't easy, it won't happen overnight but I promise if you try, you may find some of my advice will help. Remember your children are the victims of their parents divorce. No matter whose "fault" the divorce was, they were 100% innocent.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2C1LnT/www.helium.com/items/1791952-successful-parenting-after-divorce

Try to have a happy Easter!!!!