Cutting the Cord

Remember when you first became a parent? You looked into the eyes of your newborn and wondered what their life would be like? Who would they become? Who were they meant to be?

As your baby grew into a child, you began to see their personality emerge. Whether yours was an only child or one of a couple (or more), you did your best as a parent to raise your child right.

No parent is perfect and if you found yourself beating yourself up along the way, you fit right in to what it is like to be a parent.

As a parent of several children, I always found humor in other parents' being so controlling and sure of how their children were going to behave. Some who turned their noses up at me when my child would do something rebellious or outrageous soon found out that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I will admit that I enjoy karma.

When your adult child disappoints you is not so much about having had unrealistic expectations for your child but when your adult child doesn't own up to their behavior. Many of us go through a period in life where we have trouble accepting blame and instead look to others (our parents) for why we do what we do.

No parent is perfect and if we all just blamed our parents where would any of us be? It would be quite a mess of a world. Personal responsibility is something that all parents should teach their children as they are growing up.

You broke it- you bought it.

No, I wasn't a perfect parent. I tried my best and that is all that I can do. If my adult children want to live their lives blaming me for their life situations- let them. I am not going to lose any sleep over it. They have been free to make their own choices for quite some time now. I have always been here to listen and advise if asked.
I had an awful lot on my plate when I was raising them. I made choices with them in mind first. I always put myself second. I do not regret that.

Some people say that children will only understand their parents when they become parents themselves. That is partially true. Parents do not choose to become parents for recognition. We do want to be appreciated at some point in time but often don't see that appreciation. It's okay.

I know how my life was blessed by being a mom. I did the best that I could do, always learning, even today. I am still raising a child and I continue to stand by my convictions that she does not need to like me. I know that she loves me and someday she will understand that I did my best by her.

Parenting is the most important thing that I will ever do in this life (probably). I may make a difference in some strangers life from time to time but helping a child find their way in this world is on top of what matters in my life. Although some of my adult children do not respect me for that or appreciate that there is nothing I can do about their feelings. I own my mistakes- it is time for them to grow up and own theirs.

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