I woke up one day and realized that a part of my life was nothing more than an illusion. It saddened me to my core.
Having prided myself on living a "true" and honest life, this reality made me question everything about myself. I tried so hard to be different, but wound up living a lie.
Getting over being broken is going to take some time. Knowing that people I trusted, loved deeply and sacrificed for are the ones who broke me is harder to accept. I don't imagine that I will ever recover from it.
With the advice from a good friend I have decided to work on moving on from this painful chapter in my life. Honestly there is nothing I can do to repair this damage being that I was not the one who caused it to happen.
People are going to create their own reality, distorted as it might be, but I don't need to be drawn into their madness.
I deserve to be happy, live a good life and not be the target of someone's misplaced hatred. If everyone in my "circle" wants to drink the kool-aid- so be it.
Sometimes I wish I could just run away from my life and start over fresh. That is not likely to happen. Disappearing from my present life is not practical.
Running away also makes it appear as if I have something to feel guilty about and I don't. I just am tired of being hurt.
My inner strength will get me through this and the true love that exists in my life will help to build that strength.
Lessons were learned and the practice of applying those lessons to my life is in place. I know the truth and it motivates me (as does my anger) to appreciate what I do have- what is REAL - and be thankful for it.