Karma

The universe has a way of balancing "it" all out. Many times relying on karma just doesn't feel like enough though.

We teach our children that good deeds will be rewarded and likewise evil will be dealt with. Life is not always fair and sometimes it seems like karma is taking too long.

Again, it is not for us to worry about- you have to pay for your deeds in the end. Sometimes it happens sooner but more often than not it can feel as if there is no justice.

I spent the weekend with Alaina Giordano on my mind.

Alaina is now in hospice, which means she is preparing to leave this life.

When I met Alaina a year ago, we discussed how good her health was in spite of the horrible cancer diagnosis that she had. She really didn't "look" like someone whose breast cancer had spread to her bones. Maybe it was her strong will to fight for her children that kept her with the energy of an athlete.

Many talk about the unconditional love of a mother. Alaina is that kind of mother.

She talked as if she wasn't that strong and sometimes when speaking to her I would hear those familiar behaviors of a woman who had been verbally abused by a man. I did my best to encourage her and told her that she already had so much support and she needed to use that power to stay strong and believe.

A good fight was fought but in the end, Alaina did not win it. Neither did her children who were the focus of this fight.

It scares me that the justice system could be so unjust. When two people split up and child custody needs to be determined, the courts need to look at the children more carefully.

Alaina's cancer should never have been a reason for her losing custody but ultimately it was. The court could easily have forced Kane to not move away from what the children knew as "home" and something could have been worked out for the sake of the children.

Unfortunately this story was about a man who sought vengeance against his ex-wife and totally disregarded the needs of his children.

When I first met Alaina, I truly believed that she would stay healthy for a long time as long as she had her children to care for. The amount of stress that the case put on Alaina did nothing good for her health nor did the fact that she had to relocate in order to fight to stay in her children's lives. This is what the argument was about. We all know that Kane didn't care but one hoped that the court system would see the importance of keeping a mother with her children.

Alaina shouldn't be dying right now. She could have been healthy longer had she not been put in the position to choose between staying in North Carolina (where her doctors were) or moving to Chicago and traveling to receive treatment.

The unreal stress of it all is overwhelming to me. Of course her health deteriorated once she was put into this position.

Kane and the courts made it so Alaina would have to choose between her children and her health.

Now as Alaina faces the end, it still is not over. Kane has won but still insists upon punishing the mother of his children.

Pleas have gone out to Kane to allow the children to spend some time with Alaina. It is the last chance they all will have together and yet he ignores the request.

I get the idea that this is horribly emotional and upsetting but this is life. Cancer happens. Death happens. We cannot shield children from it as if it does not exist.

This is their MOTHER. This is the woman who was there for them and who loves them. She needs to leave this world with some peace knowing that she was able to tell them that she loves them and to assure them that everything will be okay. They need to be able to say goodbye to their mother; as painful as that may be- it is about THEIR emotional well-being and closure.

Ignoring the fact that Alaina is dying doesn't do them any good.

Yes, karma takes care of it all but in the meantime we must still all deal with the events of life. It is not enough that Kane will have to answer one day for his actions. Alaina's children do not have to have this situation be more painful than it needs to be. Being denied this time with their mother is damaging and wrong.

I only hope that as I write this post, Kane has come to his senses and allowed the children to see their mom.

This is a tragic story with an unfortunately tragic ending playing out. Life is not always fair and although Alaina has inspired so many with her strength she (and her children) have paid the ultimate price.