Celebrating a Life

Picture is (from left to right) my Aunt Sue,myself and my Aunt Elsie is 1981 at my 1st wedding.

My Aunt Elsie left us yesterday after several weeks of hospitalization. She was a young 77 years old but her body had many medical issues that she just could not recover from.

I am sad that she is gone but I have to think about celebrating who she was and the impact that she had on so many people.

My aunt never had a "career" yet her impact on the world was great. She was so much more than "just" someone's mother, grandmother, wife, aunt, etc. Not that she didn't fulfill those roles exceptionally because she did.

Many people who were not related to her will remember her as the excellent cook who was always there at her church's center, running the kitchen and cooking for church banquets and events.

As the population of the church has aged, there became fewer and fewer women to do the jobs that needed to be done but Aunt Elsie was always there to run the show in the kitchen.

She also filled in as a church organist.

She was the mother of 6 children and I fondly remember the chaos in her home but throughout it, she stayed calm. She went about the business of taking care of her home and many neighbor kids (who are now grown) fondly remember Mrs. Loki. Everyone was welcome in her home.

As a mom of 5 myself, I wonder how she did it. Although I enjoyed the chaos; I often needed a break. Aunt Elsie seemed to just always roll along with what was happening with a calm, nurturing demeanor.

She was a woman who could be trusted with a secret and it amazed me just how she could have kept some of the secrets that she did.

When I think about her, I have so many memories. I admired how she was so relaxed with a screaming baby in her arms. Again, her calm nature at work.

She was a wonderful cook and the last few years would bake for herself just because she felt like it. She liked to have a piece of cake at night.

Before ABC cancelled the daytime soaps I had been at her apartment watching them with her one day. When I heard they were cancelled I thought that she would be mad like I was but not Aunt Elsie. She took to watching game shows and old movies instead. Although she had been a fan, she easily rolled with change.

There was no doubt in my mind that my aunt loved me. I felt it when she touched my hand. She knows how much I loved her.

She was a delicate woman but also quite stubborn and tough. She truly was a class act who didn't engage in gossip. She was a good friend to many because of what a good listener she was.

My aunt never was wealthy in a financial way but in the ways that counted she was rich. She touched my life and I will carry it with me forever. What she taught me will always remain a part of who I am.

As her family mourns her passing I hope that they can smile through their tears when they remember the joys that she had in her life.

We were blessed to know you Aunt Elsie and to have you touch our lives.

Thank you. Your place in heaven was well earned.

Expiration Date

Death is a part of life. Many of us shy away from even thinking about it and if we are faced with it, we find it a most awkward situation to deal with.

The truth is that it can happen to any one of us at any time; there is no expiration date stamped on the bottom of our foot to make us aware of how much time we have left.

Human nature is to not face what we don't want to deal with until it is smack dab in front of us. There is no looking away then.

When a loved one is facing death, we feel sorrow. Many times our sorrow is out of guilt for not having spent enough time with the person or knowing that we could have done things that we didn't.

Other times the tears are because not only do we feel "cheated" but we feel that the person who is dying had so much more to give.

Truth is, who is anyone to say that? We do not know what our individual mission here is. Sad and tragic as someone's death may be, it was supposed to happen that way.

No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, it is not for us to question what is meant to be. It is what it is.

I believe it is all how you look at it. Death is just the passing from life on earth to a non-Earthly existence.

I think about a very special person who is facing this transition. I wonder if she is scared. I hope she is not. She is a smart, brave, tough, giving soul. She really has touched so many lives and done so in such a humble way.

Her Facebook page and forums where she writes are filling up with tributes, prayers and love for this Southern gem. Her sudden, untreatable illness is stunning to everyone.

Anyone who was close to her knows she was fighting something for the last few months. I, for one, never suspected that it was cancer.

The fact that in this country, a college-educated (or not educated) woman should die of a totally preventable cancer disgusts me. This never should have happened.

Wait a minute. There I go, doing what we humans do; questioning why and what was inevitably meant to be.

My friend and I talked daily; sometimes several times a day. We both had goals we were working towards. I knew that she had the potential to see her goals come full circle. I looked up to her and I strived to work harder because she helped me to believe that I had the potential.

Just a week ago when we spoke on the phone, she already knew what she was facing. At that point, she was full of optimism and of course, humor. She sounded weary but full of fight. There was no fear in her voice.

I didn't say "goodbye" to her...there was no need. No matter what, I know we will "see" each other again. I struggled to stay positive like she wanted me to even though I was terrified at what she was facing. At this time, she thought that treatment was an option. Just a few short days later, she found out it was too late.

In the next few days, her condition rapidly changed. In only a week's time, her family has had to come to grips with the idea that she is dying and dying quickly.

I have spoken to her husband on two occasions since. He is devastated. He (and everyone else) had no idea that she had been walking around with this horrible disease that was eating her alive. He barely has time to overcome the shock of it and now is watching his wife of almost 17 years slip away.

My "message" today is that we all need to remember to not put off anything. Time is short, sometimes shorter than we know.

Don't wait for your loved one to be terminally ill and suffering before you show them the love and support that they secretly have been longing for. If someone means something to you, tell them NOW.

Don't allow fear to run your life. Go out there and experience life. Live every moment to the fullest. Live it like it is your last.

LOST finale

Around watercoolers everywhere, this morning LOSTIES will be discussing last night's finale. As I am unemployed, this is as close to a watercooler that I am going to get. So what was YOUR take on last night's episode??? Personally, I enjoyed all the reunions. If my anti-depressant didn't have me so numbed out, I might even have cried at the touching reunions of couples who had been torn apart only to be reunited. Sawyer and Juliet, Sun and Jin, Sayid and Shannon and even Kate and Jack. The last ten minutes of the finale was when the big "reveal" came- they were all dead. DUH! I should have seen this coming, seems that way back when, it was a thought that this was some in between life and death place. The ending was bittersweet, I could have many questions but somehow, I do feel satisfied. Are we supposed to take from 6 seasons of LOST the idea that we are all connected? Who we touch does mean something after all? Even in death we still love and need connections? I don't know...what do YOU think????

remembering jennifer

Last night I attending a celebration of the life of Jennifer Metzger. It was difficult to be amongst those gathered in my family's church cemetary releasing balloons in honor of a teenage girl who tragically was killed one year ago.

I attended with my youngest daughter who is 14. She remembers the night of the accident because she was coming home with her father and saw the aftermath of this horrible tragedy.

Standing in the cemetary listening to Jennifer's father and uncle speak about Jennifer sent a very powerful message to my young daughter. She saw first-hand the pain Jennifer's mom is living with. She saw the tears of Jennifer's friends. It became real to her that this was a life lost and how much Jennifer mattered to people.

I did not know Jennifer Metzger first-hand. I had heard about her over the years from my mother who has always remained in touch with my dad's side of the family. I have to admit at times I was in awe of how well-rounded this teenage girl seemed to be. As a mom of 4 girls myself, I know how difficult it is to raise teenagers.

I got involved in the crusade to protest how the driver responsible for Jennifer's death was not charged with any criminal wrong-doing although he was speeding and driving recklessly. I did this because I am a mom and although I can never imagine the pain her parents and loved ones are dealing with, I am disgusted by the injustice of it all. It scares me that the laws do not protect victims. What disgusts me the most is how some parents do not teach their children respect for human life. They do not teach them that there are consequences to their actions. It is a tragedy that people who raised their child to be good and decent like Jennifer's parents lost their child due to another child's obvious lack of morals because of bad parenting.


Jennifer's family is establishing a scholarship in her name and is having a fundraiser. This is a positive, healing step to honor a life that was taken too soon.

During Jennifer's brief life here, she did manage to touch a lot of people. The lives she touched will keep her memory alive.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2288881/the_consequences_of_reckless_teen_driving.html?cat=8