Looking for the Silver Lining

2010 was a really rough year for me. My husband and I spent so much time in medical facilities, be it the emergency room, same-day surgery or doctor's offices that the security guard at our local hospital got to recognize us.

I was always someone who was blessed with decent health but early on in the year, that was tested. From a breast cancer scare (which although I had two doctors tell me I probably had inflammatory breast cancer-they were wrong) which necessitated a lumpectomy to a few weeks (yes weeks) later I needed to have my gallbladder removed, I was put through some major health crisis's.

Through it all I knew I would be okay and although financially it hurt me, there was no other option. Not having the gallbladder removed would have killed me. Just because I was uninsured and had no job or income doesn't mean that I should have died.

It sickens me that people who are uninsured often do die because they cannot afford healthcare. There is something majorly wrong with this. 

As I wrote in a very personal story, Between a Rock and a Hard Place , having to choose between fighting for your life or not because you lack finances is a horrible place to be.

The job search is discouraging. Having physical limitations makes it harder as does having transportation issues. I was willing to walk to a job, if need be. I didn't care about earning less money. When you are not earning anything, something is nice.

The last few months I have been busting my butt trying to earn money as a web content writer. Although I read where others are earning hefty amounts of money, what I earn barely pays a utility bill. It is something and for that I am grateful. I need so much more. 

Dealing with the frustrations, financial struggles and stress is tough. I have good days and bad days. I have days where there is hope and others that all hope is gone.

I know there are people worse off than I am. Sorry but it doesn't comfort me. It just makes it more challenging to compete. 

I want those who are employed to try and imagine what it is like to walk in my shoes. I want people to "get" that I am not looking for a handout, just a chance to enter the work world again. I want some compassion for the struggle and understanding that sometimes life throws you many curve balls and you didn't ask to be in the line of fire- you just are.

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