Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts

Happy Endings?

Several weeks ago when I first met Alaina Giordano and discussed her plight, I told her that once this story went national, people would be outraged. How could they not be?

Alaina, who has stage 4 breast cancer, lost primary custody of her children because of her cancer diagnosis.

I spent hours interviewing Alaina, first through emails and then by phone. I felt for her and although I knew that she had made mistakes during their marriage (she had an affair) I felt (and I still do) that her children belong with her in North Carolina.

Anyone who makes themselves familiar with this case can see that Kane Synder is just trying to exert control over Alaina the same way he did when they were married. If he truly cared about these children, there would be no story.

Why this case is more than an ugly divorce story is simple. Judge Nancy Gordon made it that way.

She (the judge) ruled that she was uncomfortable with the idea that Alaina cannot pinpoint when she may become too ill to care for her children. Alaina cannot give a date when she will die.

Nevermind the idea that in North Carolina, the children have a stable life. They are in good schools, they are part of the community and their mother is the one who made this life possible for them. She is the one who has been there for them, involved in their schooling, extra-curricular activities and also has built up a support system to help care for the children in case the time comes where she is unable to because of her cancer.

Alaina is currently not suffering. Her cancer is contained. Her treatments are working and no one knows what the future brings. You cannot look at cancer and make any judgment as far as how someone will do. Cancer is unpredictable. Life is unpredicatable.

Divorce is ugly and when children are involved sometimes a spouse will use them as weapons. This is unfair and sick. When the court system helps a vindictive parent by using a parent's illness as a reason to separate a mother and her children then total strangers need to get involved! 

This is why I continue to write about Alaina and her children. I don't care if people get sick and tired of me writing about this cause. Unless we use our freedom to speak our minds in order to protest what we see as an injustice, we will lose whatever rights we have. When something is wrong we need to stand up and say so. 



Let's talk about mental illness

Let's talk about mental illness is a new blog I started so that I could focus on something very important to me. Sharing information that I have learned and educating those who know nothing about mental illness means that I am doing something positive. Fighting the stigma against the mentally ill is something that I feel very passionate about.

I am not ashamed and maybe I am just a very brave person but really that is not true. Accepting the things that you cannot change does take courage but what other option is there? Life may be hard at times but it is also quite wonderful. Being blessed with good friends, family and having the opportunity to make a difference is something to be happy about.

Mental illnesses are not always easy to deal with but neither is heart disease, diabetes or other chronic medical conditions. If mental illness is a disease of the brain, the brain is an organ and how is it so different from gallbladder disease or any other organ disorder? Is it because it effects the way someone acts?

What is "normal" anyway? Is anyone bold enough to leave a comment and tell me that they have no issues to deal with? I think not. Everyone has something to overcome or learn to deal with. No one is without fault and no one is perfect. We are all unique human beings. Have compassion for those whose struggles are more than yours. Don't assume that because someone has been diagnosed as being bipolar (for example) that they should be pitied or shunned. Bipolar people still have feelings and they are still productive members of society. Bipolar disorder varies in severity and some people cope better than others. This is true about all people, bipolar or not.